"The runner is not in
a game; he is in a contest.
When you race, you are under oath.
When you race, you are testifying as to who you are."
The year my
daughter entered college in Boston, she came to see me in the
marathon. She was, she told me later, the only calm and rational
person among the thousands that jammed Prudential Center.
They
cheered and yelled and applauded every finisher. They cheered
the young, cheered those from Harvard, cheered those from California.
And they cheered even more wildly when someone they knew came
into sight. Through it all, she stood as quiet and as staid and
withdrawn as an Episcopalian at a revival meeting.
Then
I arrived. I made my turn into that long, wide plaza, which at
that moment was completely empty except for me and the cheering
group. The finish line was still an eighth of a mile away, but
it didn't matter. The race was over. The crowd's cheers told me
that. I had made it. And this was my victory lap. Almost an hour
behind the winner, having nailed down 312th place, I was suddenly
renewed and refreshed. I was running my home run home, and every
stride I took revealed my joy.
Then
I saw a figure break out of the crowd into the white expanse that
lay between me and the officials at the finish. It wasn't until
another fifty yards that I recognized who this yelling, waving,
cheering person was. My daughter.
The
finish of any marathon can be that kind of emotional experience.
Somewhere along the way the runner has been challenged. He has
met pain fairly and overcome it. He has had a real deliverance.
And at the end of that ordeal, both runner and spectator are aware
that something very special has happened.
Sometimes
this awareness is expressed in ways that neither runner nor spectator
will ever forget. For me that occurred in Boston. For a friend
of mine the setting was the Scottish Games at Grandfather Mountain.
The marathon there is one of the most difficult in this country.
Its 26.2 miles through mountainous country test a runner as almost
no other race does.
My
friend survived that test and ultimately conquered the course.
And when he came to the last climb where the finish was supposed
to be, he heard the sound of bagpipes. Now, as everyone knows,
the skirling of bagpipes stirs the passions and emotions inaccessible
in other ways. So my friend, already overcome by reaching the
end of this ordeal, was in tears when he breasted the hill.
And
now he saw that he was on a great plain encircled by the camps
of the various Scottish clans. And each sent up a great shout
as he passed them.
What
place he took, he sometimes forgets. But he will never forget
when time stood still on that plain atop Grandfather Mountain
and all around him were happy cheering people and sound of bagpipes.
All
this has, of course, nothing to do with winning and losing. Winning
and losing is what you do in team games. The runner is not in
a game; he is in a contest. And that is a word whose Latin root
means to witness or testify. The other runners are witnesses to
what he is doing. And therefore, anything else than all he can
give is not enough. When you race, you are under oath. When you
race, you are testifying as to who you are.
The
distance runner understands this. He is the mildest of men. Quiet
and even-tempered and rarely given to argument. He avoids confrontation
and seeks his own private world, but in a marathon he becomes
a tiger. He will go to the end of his physiology to find who he
is and what he can do. Put himself deeper and deeper into a cauldron
of pain. What is necessary becomes possible, however absurd the
effort may be.
But
such interrogations, if they are to mean anything, should be infrequent.
If the marathon is to measure a man, it should synchronize with
the cycles of his growth. Maturity is an uneven, discouraging
process. Becoming who you are is not done on schedule. There are
years when nothing seems to happen.
But
one must still say that marathons can make memories like no other
event in your life. And that could be an argument for running
one every month. When the rocking-chair time comes, you'll be
all set.
Excerpt: Running & Being
© The George Sheehan Trust